God Bless America! A 14-day road trip through Florida

Arriving in Orlando

Ten hours over the Atlantic and I have no idea what to expect. My second long-haul flight sets off from Frankfurt; with Discover Airlines it's off to Orlando. After a 2-hour train ride we're on the plane around 2 p.m. I couldn't really sleep, but the hours still passed somehow all right. Around 3 a.m. German time and 9 p.m. in Orlando, we finally settle into our huge grey Ford pickup. More of a bus than a car, we thought at first, that we'd overdone it a bit with the size – until we were on the road for the first time and our car looked positively tiny next to the trucks driving around here. It only took a few minutes to reach the first hotel for the night.

We'd already familiarised ourselves with the American traffic rules in advance; here's what matters:

• Whoever reaches a junction with stop signs on all corners first also gets to go first. If you arrive at the same time, priority usually goes to the right.
• At red lights you may turn right after coming to a complete stop, as long as no sign ("No Turn on Red") forbids it.
• On multi-lane highways and interstates, overtaking on the right is allowed and common.
• If a school bus stops with flashing red lights, vehicles from both directions have to stop immediately – often even on multi-lane roads.

A few of them take getting used to, but by the end of the two weeks, turning right on red or being overtaken on the right doesn't feel so hard anymore.

Dead tired, we both fall into bed and, thanks to the jet lag, are wide awake again around 5 a.m. Even before sunrise we cruise off, flanked by more pickups left and right, towards Denny's, a typical American diner. Pancakes, bagels and coffee that gets refilled endlessly – that's how I'd imagined the start to the day.

Kennedy Space Center

Rockets had always been something fictional to me, science fiction, not a place you can actually visit. Suitcases in the pickup and off we go towards the Kennedy Space Center to prove exactly that wrong. Here you'll find not only the Vehicle Assembly Building, whose doors are considered the largest in the world (four doors 139 metres high that take a full 45 minutes to open and close), but also the Space Shuttle and the Saturn V, the moon rocket of the Apollo programme. The Apollo moon missions as well as the Space Shuttle flights launched right here. The bus tour across NASA's most important spaceflight site is correspondingly exciting, and we even touched a real piece of the moon.

On the way back we're surprised by a heavy downpour. In September, Florida has a hot, humid and tropical climate, and we're at the end of the active hurricane season. But statistically, strong hurricanes only occur every 7 years, and the last one, Hurricane Ian, made landfall in 2022 as a Category 4. Statistically, then, no reason to worry.

Cocoa Beach and the Hurricane Greek Bar

A fixed bed for the next night? No such luck. We're still travelling completely spontaneously and first have to do some research. We drive on towards the west coast and book a motel there for one night, about an hour from the Kennedy Space Center, towards Palm Bay. Our highway runs along the coast and we make our first stop at Cocoa Beach and pay a visit to the Ron Jon Surf Shop. The Super 8 by Wyndham is exactly how you'd imagine a cheap American hotel, but at least it's close to the water. In the evening we head to the Hurricane Greek Bar, for me a real highlight of the holiday. At first we only watch the line dancing from the outside, until I finally decide to join in. Luckily nobody here knows me anyway. No idea about the choreography and in Birkenstocks instead of cowboy boots – luckily I get some help. Unfortunately, because of the jet lag, we're still super tired, and after a few dances even I realise it's time for bed. A shame that we didn't make it into a line-dance bar again for the rest of the holiday, which probably means we have to go to America once more.

A shooting range for the whole family

"Shooting Center" and "Family" in one name, that already sounds paradoxical to me. Still, the next day I let myself be talked into the Frog Bones Family Shooting Center. And indeed, in the queue there are grandparents with their grandchildren who, for the next hour, will be shooting at fictional targets with loaded weapons. Here you're even allowed to carry weapons you legally own openly; no special training or permit is required. Reassuring.

After we'd signed a document indemnifying the shooting range in the event of our death, it was off to a kind of classroom, where a dummy was used to briefly explain how you hold, load and unload a gun. At least several safety mechanisms are built in. We both had to demonstrate several times how to load, unload and de-cock the weapon. Then there were noise-cancelling headphones and it was into the booth. Looks like our shooting club back home, except here you don't shoot with air rifles but with live ammunition. Frederick von Mach ran through various scenarios with us in which we were threatened and had to aim at a set-up cardboard figure at different spots. Unfortunately I quickly forgot that the whole thing is actually pretty brutal, and had fun aiming at the cardboard. My shooting skills weren't half bad, and at least better than Philipp's, so I'm now prepared for the next zombie apocalypse.

Afterwards we fortified ourselves with a huge pizza. On the way to the next stop we pull over at the nearest beach and enjoy the Atlantic coast for two hours. Luckily it's cloudy, otherwise it would be almost unbearable on the beach. Along the way we also stop at Sebastian Inlet State Park. For the parks you pay admission per vehicle here, and there's usually a particularly beautiful beach. We take a little walk and watch numerous anglers and herons – there seem to be especially many fish here.

West Palm Beach and an assassination attempt

From a villa visit to a firearms warning in just a few hours, that's not how we'd pictured this day. Our next stop: West Palm Beach, more precisely Mar-a-Lago. We didn't want to miss the chance to pay a visit to Trump's villa. But it never came to that, because on this very day there was an attempted assassination of Trump, and shots were fired at his golf club in West Palm Beach. This golf club was only about 15 minutes from our Airbnb. The bridge to Mar-a-Lago was completely closed, and we were glad to make it into our street at all without any further drama. Police were swarming everywhere, and since it was late anyway, we decided not to leave the Airbnb again that evening. The next day we followed Fox News with particular attention.

Cowboy hats and supermarket sightseeing

To feel completely American, the next morning we head to the nearest JC Western Store, and after good advice from Sam we're 65 dollars per head poorer and one bulky cowboy hat richer. Like most people here, Sam too was thrilled about German tourists, but also let slip the poor general and geographical knowledge of Americans. According to him, Amsterdam belongs to Germany as well, interesting.

On top of that, we stopped at every big supermarket chain, because that matches Philipp's idea of sightseeing exactly: strolling for hours through a Target and seeing what Americans sell in gigantic sizes. Here you can only reach the supermarket by car, and it's more like a hypermarket. You can buy a 30-pack of eggs and stock up directly with a 3-litre jug of milk. The motorised shopping carts, however, are apparently reserved only for overweight and sick people, and on our ride through the Target we get a few comments thrown our way. Well, ticked off the bucket list, this experience would be anyway.

Miami

I would have liked to see the Bahamas too, but Philipp couldn't be convinced, so Miami became our next destination instead. Here, for a change, we'd booked 2 days. Since we'd only decided on the same day, the affordable selection of hotels in Miami Beach was very limited. On the five- or more-lane highway it was off to Miami with a lot of traffic. On the country roads you make great progress here, since everything is built huge, but in the cities it jams up massively – there's no proper public transport system here. The James Hotel turned out to be the purest fever dream. It sat in the Art Deco District, and the Cuban influence showed not only in the lively, tropical colours but also in countless small figurines that had aged badly, so the entrance looked more like a horror film. When I say that every step had its own figurine, I really do mean every one. Thank God we were spared the creepy figurines in our room and only had to make do with the gloomy view of another building.

But the location was top, for the first time in Florida we had the chance to do something on foot. In my imagination I'd thought Miami would be a kind of smaller New York, but I have to conclude that Miami is completely different; there's no subway system here either. We find a sports bar where the beer is affordable (otherwise you can easily pay 10 dollars for a small Heineken) and spend the evening with a few rounds of pool.

The next day we head in daylight to the famous Ocean Drive and, for the first time, to Miami Beach itself, and yes, Baywatch didn't promise too much, the iconic lifeguard towers really do stand there. They're a genuine trademark of Miami Beach Ocean Rescue. Spontaneously we decide to rent a City Bike and ride past the famous Muscle Beach (where, of course, there's a quick workout for a photo) towards South Pointe. At about a 10 km bike ride and a tropical 35-plus degrees, we work up a good sweat, but the tour along the beach was worth it. You clearly notice the off-season here, though – apart from us, hardly anyone else is training. Quickly back to the hotel and into our swimwear, we enjoy the rest of the day on the beach and in the wonderful, 29-degree-warm water.

To round things off there's a tasty pizza, and finally we end up in the same sports bar again, where today, however, a pool tournament well above our league is taking place. But super exciting to watch the pros, what impressed us most was an older man who ruthlessly beat every opponent with a serious face, but during the breaks went to his car to cuddle with his dog, which was waiting for him in the boot.

Here too, drug use and homelessness were about as high as in New York. On the way to the beach we were yelled at with "They tanning there balls, they tanning there balls", I think I don't need to translate that. But we're glad that we can finally say goodbye to our colourful hotel and it's off to the Keys.

Arriving on the Florida Keys

Finally time to take it easy: this time we'd booked with a bit of lead time and put value on comfort and a nice pool. In the small hotel with only about 10 apartments we were almost completely alone and had a wonderful view of the almost Caribbean sea. The apartments bordered directly on the water, where you could rent small kayaks. At least we managed a little tour before the next thunderstorm broke.

Something like a vegetarian patty doesn't exist here, so I have to order my burger without a patty for once, because there isn't a single vegetarian dish on the menu. At least there's a lot of Mexican food here, which I like much better than the rather greasy American food, and there at least there are vegetarian alternatives.

Fortified by a bagel, we continue towards Key Largo. Since we've learned from our short-notice planning that some things spontaneously have no spots or tickets left, we book a snorkelling trip for two days from now – you're said to be able to snorkel fabulously here.

The Overseas Highway to Key West

42 bridges, 190 kilometres, an old railway line, the way to Key West is an experience in itself. It goes along the so-called Overseas Highway: on the drive from Key Largo to Key West, the last of the Keys, a total of 42 bridges are crossed. The longest of them is the famous Seven Mile Bridge at almost 11 km. Since the entire drive takes almost four hours, we stop for a swim at Bahia Honda State Park, at one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, almost deserted, with white sand and crystal-clear water. There was also a huge old railway bridge to marvel at here, destroyed in a hurricane in 1935. I'd gladly have stayed longer here or come back the next day, but we notice that we simply planned too little time on the Keys.

On Big Pine Key there's still one very special pub on my list: the No Name Pub. Its walls are papered with signed one-dollar bills; what began as a tradition in the early 1970s is today estimated at a total value of around 800,000 US dollars. The whole walls here are covered with banknotes. With a Coke Zero and a few fries we get pens and a stapler, and so our names too end up inside the pub. Absolutely worth a stop.

Key West

Only 90 miles to Cuba, we'd probably never been closer to socialism. In Key West we stay one night at the Alexander Palms Court and in the evening look at the Southernmost Point, the southernmost point of the continental USA. For dinner there's a Subway sub with only lettuce and spinach, since those were the only vegetarian ingredients in this place, I'm definitely not putting on weight here. This accommodation too has only about 9 small apartments and a cute little pool where the day is started. Afterwards we take a little tour through Key West, past Hemingway's Home and the Harry S. Truman Little White House. This is also where Route 1 begins, with the famous US 1 Mile Marker 0.

Snorkelling off Marathon Key

We don't have much time, because our snorkelling trip starts on Marathon Key, which gets its name from the fact that the railroad workers described the construction of the Overseas Railway as a marathon.

Well slathered in sunscreen, we board a boat with just a few other people. Our captain has a good sense of humour and the two hours of snorkelling fly by. My highlight was a small reef shark, probably a blacktip, my first shark in the open sea. It was surely 2.5 metres long but hid away in a small cave. At the end I followed a turtle swimming, and suddenly the shark emerged from its cave, for a brief moment I had this wonderful image of turtle and shark together.

So far I hadn't seen alligators anywhere; apparently this time of year is too warm for them. But in every body of water and at every roadside with lots of trees and mangroves, I'm still afraid an alligator will nibble at my feet.

At the Kingsail Resort we spend our last night on the Keys. At the pool we relax a bit more in the sun, which reappears after a heavy downpour, and here too the pool lies right by the sea, surrounded by small single-storey apartments. Parking is once again no problem at all, I don't even know why I worried about whether you could park anywhere with our pickup, which we christened "Schrader". Everything here is gigantic; on the parking lots you could easily park a bus. This evening too we spend with a beer by the water, and to fall asleep we watch a documentary about the railway and the Everglades, because we've booked a tour there for tomorrow.

Airboat tour through the Everglades

Propeller drive instead of a motor, swamp instead of road: back on the mainland it's off through the Everglades by airboat. An airboat is a flat-bottomed boat that's propeller-driven, necessary to get through the shallow swamp areas. The huge propeller is pretty loud, and now I also understand why we were given ear protection yet again. The ride is fast and we practically drift across the water, honestly, I'd have liked to drive it myself, it looked pretty fun. In the entire Everglades there are 200,000 alligators and up to more than 30,000 tiger pythons. Reassuring that we're separated from these dangerous animals only by a thin plastic boat.

So far we still hadn't seen an alligator. Finally the first one shows itself, after being fed Cheetos. Nothing really surprises me here anymore. Our boat driver tells us quite calmly that he simply catches smaller pythons by hand; only with the bigger ones would he then resort to shooting. Now we feel safe: should a 3-metre constrictor move towards our boat, the guy will just strangle it with his bare hands.

The terrain is huge and I'd definitely have got lost there. In fact the Everglades are a giant river of grass, and I don't even want to imagine that someone actually tried to build a railway through this swampland.

On to the west coast

One hotel-chain rule we've internalised by now: La Quinta has nice rooms and a good breakfast where you can make your own waffles, you just have to make sure the hotel isn't right by the highway. Next time we'll do better. So we sleep one night on Route 75 in Naples. Along the way there's a visit to yet another beautiful white sandy beach with a dreamy sea; the beach is even called White Beach.

The next night we spend nearby, in Fort Myers, again at a La Quinta hotel, this time not right by the motorway, with a nice room and a big pool. In this hotel we even meet Germans in the pool for once, who regularly fly to the Keys, which I can absolutely understand.

In search of manatees

Seeing them in winter would have been the safe bet, but I want to try anyway: I really want to see manatees, which is why we stay a bit longer on the west coast. Even though the gentle giants actually only come into the springs in the colder months, you still have a chance to spot them. Siesta Beach doesn't quite win us over; after you've been to the Keys, the water here seems rather green. It's certainly not clear, and the beach gives me more of a North Sea vibe. In Sarasota, for a change, there's a small boutique hotel that's really cute and definitely the most modern of them all; the Kompose Hotel also scores with a nice pool and good breakfast. However, in Sarasota I ate the worst aglio e olio that has ever been cooked.

The hurricane approaches

A word on the evening news makes us prick up our ears for a moment, then we push it aside: we're lying in bed, watching a bit of news, and notice that a possible hurricane is being reported that could make landfall in Florida. We don't worry any further, the forecast concerns the end of the week, and the strength could also decrease again by then. The next night in St. Pete Beach is already booked and we don't worry any more.

St. Petersburg in a state of emergency

Before heading towards Tampa, we look at the Manatee Village Historical Park, an open-air museum that shows the pioneer era of Manatee County between 1840 and 1918. Impressive how well the exhibits are still preserved, you feel like you're on a journey through time, entirely without electricity and cars.

We have to notice that additional plastic has already been fitted in front of the windows here. A staff member explains that they're already preparing for the upcoming hurricane. I'm shocked and impressed at the same time by how quickly people react here, it shows not only that the situation is serious, but also that the people here aren't going through this for the first time.

In Downtown St. Petersburg we visit a viewpoint, and at least there's a manatee sticker for me there. Surprisingly, there's also a small biological museum there, where we learn a little something about the underwater world.

A hotel with somewhat questionable design awaits us in St. Pete, but we're welcomed with a free beer. Our room lies right by a boat dock and there's even a beach bar right on the beach. It's not exactly packed, but we've already noticed that it's the off-season and during the week there's not much going on either. But there's a table-tennis table and good drinks. As long as you're drinking, you have to leave your credit card "open" at the bar and let them know when you want to "close" it. How you tip here, by the way, we still haven't quite figured out, usually the credit card is collected in an envelope and, in the best case, brought back.

Hurricane Helene forces us to change plans

In the evening we watch, on Fox Weather, the gigantic hurricane, now named Helene, which is already sitting off Cuba at 70 mph. A warning and a state of emergency are declared for the Gulf Coast. The hurricane is supposed to make landfall within a few days, and precisely in Tampa, where we happen to be. By now we too have understood the seriousness of the situation, and instead of travelling further north along the coast, we book a hotel in Orlando for the last two nights on short notice, even if that wasn't the plan. In hindsight I'm simply glad that we got a hotel at all, because while we were aware of what impact a Category 4 hurricane has, we hadn't expected that all residents in the risk areas would be told to leave their homes, since otherwise there'd be a real danger of not surviving the hurricane.

Near Tampa are the Crystal Springs, also a state park. However, the next morning we have to find out that all state parks have closed for now. I'm shocked and impressed once again by how quickly things are acted on here, every state park has the same message on its website. The petrol stations are full, the supermarkets bought empty; everyone wants either to flee inland or to prepare for several days without electricity.

Back to Orlando ahead of the hurricane

Since Helene is due to make landfall the very next night, we head towards Orlando. Along the way we make one more stop at the Circle B Bar Reserve – after all, we still want to make the best of our remaining three holiday days. Here too we first have to wait for a dry spell with an eye on the rain radar.

After a lot of traffic we finally arrive in Orlando. The hotel for the finale is definitely none of the prettiest, rather functionally built to reach the Universal Orlando Resorts from here. And of all times now, when a gigantic hurricane is racing towards us and we have no choice but to spend the time in the hotel, for the first time in the entire holiday we don't have a smart TV. This time we follow the news live on TV. A few streets away we find an Irish Pub, where the time can at least be passed quite well with pool and darts. The streets grow emptier and emptier, and we too slowly make our way towards the hotel room.

In the news we see a presenter standing at the Southernmost Point, which only a few days ago served as a tourist attraction and is now going completely under. She's visibly struggling to stay on her feet, while in the background all sorts of unsecured objects fly around. We're glad that our hotel room at least seems as if it were built of concrete and not like a cardboard wall that flies off at the slightest gust of wind.

Helene in numbers

To put the whole thing briefly into context: on 23 September the first warnings of a tropical storm were issued, which finally struck Florida on 26 September with wind speeds of 220 km/h. In total around 247 people lost their lives, making Helene the deadliest hurricane since 2005. The property damage is estimated at 30 to 50 billion US dollars; in addition, 21 tornadoes formed. The storm surge in Florida rose to up to 4.5 m high, a thought I can barely bear when I think that the Keys, where we were just a few days ago, lie right by the water. In Keaton Beach, on the border with Georgia, 90% of the buildings were destroyed. When I hear that, I still get goosebumps, and at the videos of people who lost all their possessions, family members or pets while we were on holiday, tears still come to me today.

We can simply be glad that Orlando is among the least affected places and that the hurricane here is already down to only Category 2 to 3 the next morning.

The number of hurricanes is steadily increasing due to man-made climate change. Still, I have to say: when it comes to sustainability, Germany is miles ahead of the USA.

Only about two weeks later, Hurricane Milton, the next storm, hits Florida, with the fifth and highest category and record meteorological values. This one I follow, back in Germany already, and I'm simply glad that our flight home went as planned. I'll definitely take travel and weather warnings more seriously in future, because I don't want to expose myself to such a risk voluntarily ever again.

A rainy farewell: Universal Orlando

Just as quickly as the storm came, it disappears again. The next morning, stronger tropical showers are still to be expected, but that doesn't stop us from paying a visit to the Universal Orlando Resort. The Universal Studios are the only ones that have already reopened today, and for a measly 125 euros per ticket we don't even get to see the whole Harry Potter themed world, which is what I'd actually come for – for that we'd have had to pay the full ticket price per head once again. So I make do with Diagon Alley and the Gringotts roller coaster and console myself with having already seen Hogwarts at the Warner Bros. Studios. A huge thank you goes here to Philipp, who paid this incredibly high ticket price only for my sake, for a pretty outdated park that has long since lost its charm. At least our rain ponchos, bought at the start of the trip, finally pay off now. I'll admit it: apart from the Harry Potter themed world the park was pretty disappointing, and my wallet still hurts today when I think of the money we spent on it. Even parking hit us with 35 dollars, that's as much as I now pay in Düsseldorf for a whole month's parking space.

One last day in Orlando

Unfortunately, apart from theme parks, Orlando doesn't have much to offer, and since still no national park has opened, we have no choice but to stay in the concreted city. Before we hand back our beloved Schrader in the evening, there's still a water park on the agenda, which is a lot more fun than the outing the day before. Parking here costs twice as much, but the admission is only half as expensive. For our farewell, the sun even shows itself again today. In the end we at least get to board the plane freshly showered. After 1,195 miles, converted to 1,923.16 km, we look forward to German soil.

What the road trip cost

Over the two weeks we added up all our expenses between the two of us: